88 Results for : assholes

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    Insane Bastards: An Extreme Horror Story , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 452min
    Two idiots, Leonhard "Rocky" Krauss and Byron "Twig" Schlaeger, escape from a mental institution, Cedar Hill Sanitarium, and go on a murderous rampage. Rocky is a large man suffering from gigantism, and Twig is a foul-mouthed and perverted little person. Separately, they had always been mistreated and bullied, but together, they are unstoppable, unleashing sadistic and barbaric acts of violence on the assholes of society.  Warning! This is an extreme-horror/splatterpunk story that contains adult content, including, but not limited to: profanity, sexuality, brutality, and obscenities. If you're not a seasoned extreme-horror listener, it's highly advised not to embark on this journey. It will save you distress and it'll save me a negative review. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Tom Beyer. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/120013/bk_acx0_120013_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Carlin on Campus, Hörbuch, Digital, 47min
    This fourth HBO special by George Carlin was recorded on April 18 and 19, 1984, and features mostly new material. The opening features Carlin in Catholic school with a short version of "Class Clown" and animation shorts. The ending features Carlin playing piano to an original song called "Armadillo Blues". Tracks: 1. Opening 2. Prayer 3. A Place for My Stuff 4. Cartoon: It's No Bullshit 5. Little Dogs 6. Flamethrowers 7. Stuff on Driving 8. Cartoon: New News 9. Whistling 10. Assholes 11. Stomach Sounds 12. Getting Sick 13. Baseball and Football 14. Cartoon: Universe of Sports 15. Sports Cheer 16. Cartoon: Silent Film Star DeathExplicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase this program. Language: English. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/pf/lcom/000010/pf_lcom_000010_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    How to Date a Douchebag: The Failing Hours , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 550min
    Zeke Daniels isn't just a douchebag; he's an asshole. A total and complete jerk, Zeke keeps people at a distance. He has no interest in relationships - most assholes don't. Dating? Being part of a couple? Nope. Not for him. He's never given any thought to what he wants in a girlfriend, because he's never had any intention of having one. Shit, he barely has a relationship with his family, and they're related; his own friends don't even like him. So why does he keep thinking about Violet DeLuca? Sweet, quiet Violet - his opposite in every sense of the word. The light to his dark, even her damn name sounds like rays of sunshine and happiness and shit. And that pisses him off, too. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Muffy Newtown, Josh Goodman. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/030830/bk_adbl_030830_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Playing with Monsters , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 918min
    My coven has remained hidden in the shadows for centuries.We’ve avoided the ‘real world’ altogether - hiding from monsters and other creatures we share this planet with.We found protection in the Colville National Forest, nestled in a town protected by magical barriers.Our powers are locked by an ancient curse, one meant to protect us from being found.Until now.The past has a way of repeating itself. A new game is beginning. No one is safe.He’s coming for me.He’s hunting.The monster we’ve run from for centuries has found us.How far will this deadly game go?How far will I be able to take it, or will he destroy me and everything I care about?Will the one thing I can’t live without be the key to destroying and undoing the past?Or will the past destroy me before I can save the people I love from what I’ve done?Warning: Intended for listeners 18 and older.About the hero: Chances are you may not fall instantly in love with him, that’s because I don’t write men you instantly love; you grow to love them. I don’t believe in instant love. I write flawed, raw, caveman-like assholes who eventually let you see their redeeming qualities. They are aggressive, assholes, and one step above a caveman when we meet them. You may not even like him by the time you finish this audiobook, but I promise you will love him by the end of this series. About the heroine: There is a chance that you might think she’s a bit naïve, or weak, but then again who starts out as a badass? Badasses are a product of growth and I am going to put her through hell, and you get to watch her come up swinging every time I knock her on her ass. That’s just how I do things. How she reacts to the set of circumstances she is put through may not be how you, as the listener, or I, as the author, would react to that same situation. Everyone reacts differently to circumstances and how Magdalena responds to h ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Aiden Snow, Eva Amar. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/050367/bk_adbl_050367_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    House of Enchanted: The Revelations of Oriceran: Soul Stone Mage, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 311min
    The Kingdom of Virgo has lived in peace for thousands of years...until now.   The humans from Terran have always been real assholes to the witches of Virgo. Now a silent war is brewing, and the timing couldn’t be worse. Princess Azure will soon be crowned queen of the Kingdom of Virgo. In the Dark Forest, a powerful potion-maker has been murdered. Charmsgood was the only wizard who could stop a deadly virus plaguing Virgo. He also knew about the devastation the people from Terran had done to the forest. Azure must protect her people. Mend the Dark Forest. Create alliances with savage beasts. No biggie, right? But on coronation day everything changes. Princess Azure isn’t who she thought she was, and that’s a big freaking problem. Welcome to the Revelations of Oriceran. A magical world tied to Earth, and nothing like it. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Carly Robins. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/105137/bk_acx0_105137_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Sleeping with Monsters , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 847min
    When everything is on the line, how far will you go to protect those you love?   What if the cost of saving them is your soul?   Would you pay it?   I thought I was prepared for what was coming; that if I made sacrifices, I could win this game.  I’m no longer afraid of the darkness or the monsters that hide in the shadows. I’ve become what I feared most, allowing it in to protect those I loved.   Sometimes it takes a monster to win. Sometimes to fight monsters, you have to become one. My only fear is....can I come back from it?   Warning: Intended for listeners 18 and older. About the hero: Chances are you may not fall instantly in love with him, that’s because I don’t write men you instantly love; you grow to love them. I don’t believe in instant love. I write flawed, raw, caveman-like assholes who eventually let you see their redeeming qualities. They are aggressive, assholes, and one step above a caveman when we meet them. You may not even like him by the time you finish this audiobook, but I promise you will love him by the end of this series. About the heroine: There is a chance that you might think she’s a bit naïve, or weak, but then again who starts out as a badass? Badasses are a product of growth and I am going to put her through hell, and you get to watch her come up swinging every time I knock her on her ass. That’s just how I do things. How she reacts to the set of circumstances she is put through may not be how you, as the listener, or I, as the author, would react to that same situation. Everyone reacts differently to circumstances and how Magdalena responds to her challenges is how I see her as a character and as a person. I don’t write love stories: I write fast-paced, knock you down, make you sit on the edge of your seat wondering what happens next books. If you’re looking for cookie-cutter romance, this isn’t for you. If you can’t handle the ride, unbuckle your seat belt and ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Aiden Snow, Eva Amar. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/050368/bk_adbl_050368_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    How to Date a Douchebag: The Coaching Hours , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 496min
    There are no douchebags in this story. Well, there are, but they're not who this story is about. This story is about me - the coach's daughter. When I moved to Iowa to live with my dad, the university's take-no-prisoners wrestling coach, I thought transferring would be easy as pie - living with my father would be temporary, and he'd make sure his douchebag wrestlers left me alone. Wrong on both counts. Assholes always come out of the woodwork when the stakes are high. A bet is placed, and I'm on the table. After one humiliating night and too much alcohol, I find the last nice guy on campus. And when he offers to rent me his spare bedroom, I go all in. It's time for the nice guy to finish first. Midnight chats and spilling my problems turn to lingering touches. Lingering touches turn to more. And the ultimate good guy has the potential do more damage than any douchebags ever could. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Muffy Newtown, Josh Goodman. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/033111/bk_adbl_033111_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Avowed : Shadowed Wings , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 358min
    Just when I think things are starting to look up...I manage to get myself kidnapped.   All I want to do is figure out how the hell to get home. But instead, I’ve been shot out of the sky, netted, half drowned, and now I’ve been taken to Kestrel City, home of the Avowed.   The Hidden claim the Avowed are the enemy, but I’m about to learn nothing is ever just black and white. Well, except maybe for my gryphon. I need to keep Pigeon and her wandering eye on a tight leash. Which is a hell of a lot easier said than done. She has an appetite for assholes and secrets, and there’s plenty of both flying around here.  Can I keep my head down, my wings folded, and Pigeon in check long enough to find the answers I’ve been looking for?   I sure as fuck hope so, but it’s not looking so good. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: B.N. Love. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/196137/bk_acx0_196137_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Unf--k Your Brain , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 219min
    A no-nonsense and helpful guide on how to cope with a slew of mental-health issues that are hell-bent on ruining the lives of millions of people worldwide Our brains do their best to help us out, but every so often they can be real assholes - having meltdowns, getting addicted to things, or shutting down completely at the worst possible moments. Your brain knows it's not good to do these things, but it can't help it sometimes - especially if it's obsessing about trauma it can't overcome. That's where this life-changing book comes in. With humor, patience, science, and lots of good-ole swearing, Dr. Faith explains what's going on in your skull, and talks you through the process of retraining your brain to respond appropriately to the non-emergencies of everyday life, and to deal effectively with old, or newly acquired, traumas (particularly post-traumatic stress disorder). ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Faith G. Harper, PhD LPC-S ACS ACN. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/blak/011465/bk_blak_011465_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    How to Date a Supervillain: Advice on How to Live Life from a Super Villainess , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 16min
    Disclaimer: This is intended for a mature audience over 18. All characters in this book are over 18. This is advice from a fictional character and super villainess; follow it at your own risk. Excerpts On dating a Super Villain 3. Wear something slinky but with sensible shoes. Heels are no good if you end up being chased by the police or a team of superheroes. 6. Dating anyone means putting up with their asshole friends. Dating a supervillain means putting up with their sociopathic assassin friends. Who are also assholes. On dating 1. Guys are jerks. Don't take it personally. 4. If a guy is talking to you...he's hitting on you. Every time. I can't stress this enough. 5. The only guy worth wearing heels for is a guy who doesn't care if you wear heels. 6. Try dating a writer or at least a reader; creative guys are creative in the bedroom. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Raya J. Thomason. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/088969/bk_acx0_088969_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping

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