88 Results for : assholes

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    A Court of Earth and Aether: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (War of the Gods, Book 4) , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 448min
    Cass Saélihn is the weapon, the hybrid born to kill the Olympian gods. Only the price is her own life. One dies so millions can live. So her mates will live. But Cass can't just abandon them, can she? She's just found them - a home she'd never imagined she could have. So when Death offers her a way out if she plays one of his sick games, she can't refuse. If she plays it right, she might just rise from ash and ember. And her loyal warrior-mates will be with her in life, or death. Even when she has to become the Darkness that devours the worlds. Even when she's lost to herself. She's not lost to them. So, she'll play the final deadly game, and when Cass unleashes her true, powerful self, the immortal gods will burn in her flames. *This is the final book in the popular War of the Gods series. It contains brutal battles, explicit love scenes, raw language, magic, swordfights, Greek gods, dark fae, vampires, shifters, and a lot more assholes. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Victoria Mei. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/155370/bk_acx0_155370_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Dear Donald Trump, Are We Going to War? , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 3min
    Dear Donald Trump, Are We Going to War? features a poem asking if we are going to war and why. It points up Trump's ties to Russia, frequent vacations, and lifestyle like a king. It suggests the need to resist and act fast, otherwise the US might not last. It begins with the lines: Dear Donald Trump, are we going to war? Are you really doing it for the dying kids? Or are the bombs and flames all for show? 'Cause your ratings are on the skids? The book is based on a video of the same name which features the same poem. The book is dedicated to the resistance and is credited to A Concerned Citizen. It was inspired by the many photographs widely shared on the Internet and collected by a number of the Resistance and Impeach Trump groups. It was also inspired by the many idiots and assholes now running or ruining the government...or running from it. Any proceeds from this book are being donated to the Resistance and Impeach Trump groups. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Presten B. Kane. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/085698/bk_acx0_085698_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Hilarity Ensues , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 578min
    Here's Tucker Max's third and final book in his series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole," and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here. But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang - literally and figuratively. In this book, you'll learn: How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School Why Halloween is really awesome How to subtly torture a high-strung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van, and What happens when Tucker turns sexting into a sport. He's still Tucker Max, and - for one more book - he's still an asshole. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Tucker Max. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/000660/bk_acx0_000660_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    A Court of Fire and Metal: An RH Fantasy Romance (War of the Gods, Book 2) , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 358min
    The four mighty, smoking-hot warriors had wanted to use Cass Saélihn as the weapon to kill the Olympian gods, but they fell for her instead. Now all they want is to protect her. So they hide Cass in the magically glamoured Academy, the only safe place for earthlings.  But Cass won’t cower or run from danger. She sets her own rules and stands her ground, no matter how her blood heats for her alpha mates. She’s determined to take the fight to the gods, not as a weapon but a leader.  Yet an all-powerful, beautiful, cruel god is already among them, much closer than she and her four mates can imagine. He covets Cass and her power more than anything, and when the god strikes, he leaves nothing to chance. Warning: This is a full-length reverse harem fantasy/paranormal romance that features one hell of strong woman and her four powerful supernatural mates. It contains brutal battles, explicit love scenes, raw language, magic, swordfights, Greek gods, dark fae, vampires, shifters, and a lot of assholes. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Victoria Mei. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/153747/bk_acx0_153747_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Mercury Rising (eBook, ePUB)
    Alternative history with aliens, an immortal misanthrope and SF tropes aplenty The year is 1975 - Robert Oppenheimer has invented the Atomic Engine, the first human has walked on the moon, and Jet Carson and the Eagle Seven have sacrificed their lives to stop alien invaders. Brooklyn, however, just wants to keep his head down, pay his mother's rent, earn a little scratch of his own, and maybe get laid sometime. Simple pleasures! But life is about to get real complicated when a killer with a baseball bat and a mysterious box of 8-track tapes sets him up for murder. So, his choices are limited - rot away in prison or sign up to defend the planet from the assholes who dropped a meteorite on Cleveland. Brooklyn crosses his fingers and picks the Earth Orbital Forces, believing that after a few years in the trenches - assuming he survives - he can get his life back. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans. Brooklyn is launched into a quest to save humanity, find his true family, and grow as a person - while simultaneously coping with high-stakes space battles, mystery science experiments and the realisation that the true enemies perhaps aren't the tentacled monsters on the recruitment poster… Or are they? File Under: Science Fiction [ Little Green Men Injection Below the Crust The Truth is out There ]
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Mercury Rising
    Alternative history with aliens, an immortal misanthrope and SF tropes aplenty The year is 1975 - Robert Oppenheimer has invented the Atomic Engine, the first human has walked on the moon, and Jet Carson and the Eagle Seven have sacrificed their lives to stop alien invaders. Brooklyn, however, just wants to keep his head down, pay his mother's rent, earn a little scratch of his own, and maybe get laid sometime. Simple pleasures! But life is about to get real complicated when a killer with a baseball bat and a mysterious box of 8-track tapes sets him up for murder. So, his choices are limited - rot away in prison or sign up to defend the planet from the assholes who dropped a meteorite on Cleveland. Brooklyn crosses his fingers and picks the Earth Orbital Forces, believing that after a few years in the trenches - assuming he survives - he can get his life back. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans. Brooklyn is launched into a quest to save humanity, find his true family, and grow as a person - while simultaneously coping with high-stakes space battles, mystery science experiments and the realisation that the true enemies perhaps aren't the tentacled monsters on the recruitment poster… Or are they? File Under: Science Fiction [ Little Green Men Injection Below the Crust The Truth is out There ]
    • Shop: buecher
    • Price: 12.99 EUR excl. shipping
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    Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4) , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 1963min
    Swords.Sorcery.Dick Jokes.Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.Having taken on the bodies of their fantasy characters, Tim and the others are forced to discover the answers to two questions that every underachieving lowlife who's ever rolled a d20 has asked themselves at least once.What if you and your friends got to live the game for real? What if you and your friends were assholes?Would you have what it takes to survive? The strength? The wisdom? The...charisma?Do you have the dice in your sack?It's like Lord of the Rings meets your mom in a truck stop bathroom, but even cheaper.This set includes:Critical FailuresCritical Failures II: Fail HarderCritical Failures III: A Storm of S-WordsCritical Failures IV: The Phantom Pinas ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Jonathan Sleep. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/155452/bk_acx0_155452_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    No F*** Boys Allowed , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 189min
    Let’s face it! Every woman hates breakups, but breakups from situationships with f--kboys really suck! No F*** Boys Allowed is an insightfully humorous, adult take on a dating type plaguing young women today. You’ll learn what to look out for when dealing with f--kboys, how to deal with heartbreak (no more crying on the couch with ice cream and chips, my friend), and ways to better yourself while searching for the one. It’s your own personal f--kboy survival guide!  Isn’t it time to walk away from bad relationships with assholes, liars, and time wasters, and find something better? This self help book offers a unique perspective for young women by going into the mind of a f--kboy (so you know what you are up against), and it also offers breakup tips and dating advice to get you closer to what you do want. So what are you waiting for? Say good-bye to f--kboys and hello to a new you, because you’re moving on, and guess what? Where you’re headed, there are no f--kboys allowed! ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Nikki D. Lovely. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/205788/bk_acx0_205788_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Accidental Magic: Modern Magic, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 470min
    Magic is real, fairies are assholes, and everyone knew about it but me...Sera Allen needs a change. The family house she inherits is the perfect place for a fresh start, except for the sexy neighbor she’d ditched years before and the surprise fairies living across the street. Before long, she’s neck-deep in magic, Fae, and zombie bunnies, and her tenuous connection to her powers relies on the one man she wants to avoid.Jake Thomas is happy in his mundane life. Magic is for other people. Until the girl who’d broken his heart moves back home and he finds himself drawn into the world of the Fae. She needs his help, but can he trust her to stick around this time when things get rough?With a dark force threatening the town, they’ll have to face their pasts and overcome their distrust to have any chance at a future. Together they can make magic, but will it be enough?Accidental Magic is a full-length paranormal romance novel featuring a feisty heroine with a sarcastic response to everything and a snarky hero who gives as good as he gets. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Chloe Ryan. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/214574/bk_acx0_214574_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 608min
    Sure, you think you know the story of the fearsome red dragon, Dragonia. How it terrorized the village of Skendrick until a brave band of heroes answered the noble villagers' call for aid. How nothing could stop those courageous souls from facing down the dragon. How they emerged victorious and laden with treasure. But, even in a world filled with epic adventures and tales of derring-do, where dragons, goblins, and unlicensed prestidigitators run amok, legendary heroes don't always know what they're doing. Sometimes they're clueless. Sometimes beleaguered townsfolk are more hapless than helpless. And orcs? They're not always assholes, and sometimes they don't actually want to eat your children. Heloise the Bard, Erithea's most renowned storyteller (at least, to hear her tell it), is here to set the record straight. See, it turns out adventuring isn't easy, and true heroism is as rare as an articulate villager. Having spent decades propagating this particular myth (which, incidentally, she wrote), she finally able to tell the real story - for which she just so happened to have a front-row seat. Welcome to Erithea. I hope you brought a change of undergarments - things are going to get messy. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Haley Catherine. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/236071/bk_acx0_236071_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
    • Shop: Audible
    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping

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