88 Results for : assholes

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    You're Not That Great: (but neither is anyone else) , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 229min
    A hilarious, scathing send up of the self-help genre in the best-selling tradition of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck from social media mogul and The Bachelor producer Elan Gale. I am addicted to positivity. I am addicted to positivity. I am addicted to positivity. I care more about feeling great than being great. I am NOT THAT GREAT. The self-help industry tells you that if you're positive, if you put your best foot forward, and if you just believe in yourself that you will find happiness. Let's be real. You can read all the inspirational quotes you want. You can spend your days giving yourself affirmations in your heart-shaped mirror and trying to learn to love yourself. You can say your mantra over and over again while sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a Whole Foods parking lot. But the truth is, you're not a badass, and you still don't have the life you want. That's where You're Not That Great (but neither is anyone else) comes in. This book teaches you how to harness all the negativity in the world and use it to improve your life, taking everyday feelings like self-loathing, regret, and shame and making them work for you. Positive thinking is for assholes. Negative thinking is for winners.  ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Elan Gale. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/hach/003611/bk_hach_003611_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    How to Live Like a Supervillain , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 14min
    Disclaimer: This is a humorous piece of writing intended for a mature audience over 18. All characters are over 18. This is possibly helpful advice from Poison, a knife wielding super strong supervillain in the world of "The Crisis" and "Crisis on Just One Earth" It is advice about how to live like a supervillain even if you don't have any powers and don't want to go to jail. It's all about attitude. Excerpts: On high school: Don't get arrested. Super villains don't get caught. Break the rules. A life without detention isn't worth living. On dating: Anyone can sleep with a sorority girl. They're looking to get laid. Figure out how to get a smart girl in bed. That's a challenge. And she might teach you something. Women in airports will usually say yes. On supervillainy: If you and your friend take two strange girls back to a hotel room, one of you has to be awake at all times. Sleep in shifts. You never know who's going to try and kill you. If your wife is a telekinetic and telepath who can crush your balls with a wave of her hand, you may want to reconsider lying to her as an option. Capes are for people who can lift a skyscraper or pretentious assholes. My best friend The Crisis wears a cape. Nobody's perfect. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: David Sabol. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/087088/bk_acx0_087088_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Tips and Tales: For the Average (Or Below Average) Single American Male , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 237min
    Real dating stories of a below-average guy.  A humorous self-help book filled with tales from the author who came out of a three-year relationship and was completely clueless as how to navigate the emerging trend of modern digital dating. The reader will not only get just the tips but also some hilarious, self-deprecating stories that you can laugh at or commiserate with - or both!  Let's face it, for some guys, it's much easier to be in the dating game if you're naturally sociable, tall, and handsome. But for the majority of us, it can be quite the herculean task. Let this tastefully vulgar book become your guide!  Table of contents Glossary  Introduction  Don't Hump the Homie Hopper  Decision Process Mapping: To Bring a Date to a Wedding or Not  Dealing with Rejection  Friend Zone to End Zone  General Online Dating Advice  First Date Tips and Ideas  General Dating Advice  Canadian Incursion: Weapons Free  Sex Ed: Prevention of the worst STD  Don't Discount the Fattie nor Overtip the Hottie  Game-ify your Dating Experience  Everything in Moderation  The Two Best Types of Wingmen  Records Management  Go for it: Get the Hot Chick  Say "Yes" to all Social Invitations  Red Flags Aren't Just for China  Dress for Success  Assholes Finish Last  Be Open to Trying New Things  Stay in the Game: Sex Stamina  On the Hook  The Final Tip  Afterword  Epilogue ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Sterling Stark. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/115632/bk_acx0_115632_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Daddy, Stop Talking: And Other Things My Kids Want But Won't Be Getting , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 335min
    The comedian, actor, television host, podcast king, and New York Times best-selling author of President Me, Not Taco Bell Material, and In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks now lays down the law on the plight of the modern parent. Parents, do you often think that if your kids had to grow up the way you did - without iPads, 70-inch flatscreen TVs, American Girl dolls, and Wi-Fi in the climate-controlled minivan - they might actually be better off? Do you feel underappreciated or ignored? Do you worry you're raising a bunch of spoiled softies who will never know how to do anything themselves - because you do everything for them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need Daddy, Stop Talking. Adam rips parenthood a new one, telling it straight about what adults must do if they don't want to have to support their kids forever. Using his own crappy childhood as a cautionary tale, and touting the pitfalls of the kind of helicopter parenting so pervasive today, Daddy, Stop Talking is the only parenting book you should ever read. Here, too, is sage advice to Adam's own kids - and to future parents - on what matters most: dating; drinking and drugs; buying your first house and car; puberty; and what kind of assholes his kids (and yours) should avoid becoming. Even if his own son and daughter pretty much ignore everything he says, you shouldn't. And you're welcome. Again. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Adam Carolla. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/harp/004462/bk_harp_004462_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Fever Fae: Dark Fae Kings, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 385min, (USK 18)
    Yes, to the hottest, baddest Fae Kings. No, to being their bitch...When my parents mysteriously disappear, leaving me to raise my six crazy, younger siblings, my dreams for college are dashed.It gets worse when someone sends a slew of monster assassins after me and my family. Their untimely arrival is followed by three devastatingly hot Fae assholes who stalk me.Baron, the pompous and dominating Summer King, thinks I'm a dark Fae and wants my head. Then he changes his mind and declares me his fated mate. Hells-a-no. Especially now that he wants me to prove my worth. Really?Then there's Rowan, the possessive and cruel Winter King, who offers to protect me from the assassins, but only if I accept his obnoxious courtship requests.And finally, there's Night King Rydstrom, a dangerous and mysterious Fae with an ass that doesn't quit, who thinks he has every right to play me like a fiddle.Too bad for them, I'm not the docile type they're used to commanding. I might want to screw them, but I have no intention of joining the trail of broken hearts and bodies in their wake.For I hold a deep, dark secret. Their arrival has woken in me the very forbidden magic they've been hunting, and I, Evelina Greene, am going to have a wicked good time teaching these Alpha Fae a lesson.Fever Fae is a full-length reverse harem fantasy romance perfect for fans of Ilona Andrews, Sarah J Maas, K. F. Breene, Karen Marie Morning, Leia Stone, Jaymin Eve, and Amelia Hutchins. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Victoria Mei. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/198639/bk_acx0_198639_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Decidedly off Limits: By the Bay, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 482min
    This book was fun, it was a bit crazy, it was so very, very sexy and it was also impossible for me to put down. (Guilty Pleasures Book Review)Best friend rule number one: Never want the guy’s sister. Oops. Six months ago, I broke off my engagement because I was tired of not even being a distant second to my fiancé’s career. Which is why Trent Salway, my brother’s best friend, is strictly forbidden. One workaholic in my life is more than enough, thank you. We’ll just ignore how I’ve been secretly crushing on him for as long as I can remember. The problem? My best friend - Trent’s sister - is determined to find me Mr. Right. Before being deployed on a Navy SEAL mission, my best friend makes one simple request: I’m supposed to make sure that his sister, Kelsey, isn’t dating any assholes while he’s away. Doesn’t sound too hard, right? Living up to my promise includes crashing at least one blind date - not my finest moment, I might add - and spending more and more time with Kelsey. Sparks fly between us, as do a few items of clothing. Now, I have to decide what to do about the woman I’m falling for - the one whose brother will take me down faster than he takes down the enemy. And I have to decide if I can be something other than a workaholic or if Kelsey is decidedly off limits. Warning: Contains naughty uses for silk ties, forbidden sex, and enough profanities to make a sailor proud. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Isabelle Ruther. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/209612/bk_acx0_209612_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Burn of the Underworld: Of Shadows and Fire, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 486min
    Escaping hell is nothing compared to the mating fever. One just feels a lot better.My name is Calamity. My past is dust, and my future is a life to fight to the death in hell. I never expected this to change, but then, three smoking-hot warriors - a primordial vampire, a fae prince, and a Sváva archangel - arrive in my wrecked world. They claim I'm the lost queen and their fated mate.They come to return me to the great Atlantis to claim my stolen birthright, despite the fact that no one has ever escaped the underworld.I don't trust anyone, but I can't deny the terrifying power awakening inside me...any more than I can deny my fatal attraction to the immortal males who fight with me.Excerpt form the book:"What's happening to me?" I breathed out as I shivered in want."You're going into heat," Elijah whispered, his eyes shining liquid blue, his face twisting with restraint. "The mating call is in my blood, too. My control is slipping."His words didn't make sense, but it no longer mattered. Lust burned through me like wildfire. In its wake, nothing could survive, except my savage need for this archangel.I must take him raw and hard until he couldn't take it, and then, I'd still have him, marking him as mine over and over. He'd beg and scream, but I still wouldn't stop.Warning: This is a full-length reverse harem fantasy romance that features one hell of a hybrid woman warrior and her four powerful mates. It contains battles, explicit love scenes, curses, magic, dark fae, vampires, shifters, fallen angels, and a lot of demon assholes. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Gwendolyn Druyor. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/184442/bk_acx0_184442_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    Addie: Pack of Misfits, Book 1 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 365min
    I live with a pack of misfit shifters.Freaks. Rogues. Oddballs. Prey. Runts. Deformed. We're all welcome in Pack Aberrant.We aren't going to be winning any popularity contests, but our hodgepodge bunch is more loyal than even the strongest pred packs. I should know. I grew up in one of them. As soon as they realized I was different, I was despised, even by my own family.So I left, joined Pack Aberrant, and I've steered clear of alpha pred assholes ever since. Until my heatwave hits, and I accidentally jump three coyote shifters in a parking lot. Whoopsie.Once they realize what my animal is, they're gonna kick me to the curb just like every other pred shifter has. And my old pack? They come back to haunt me.I'm unwanted by the three hotties, threatened by my old pack, and to top it all off, I have to find a new job because I attacked a bank robber. Accidentally.Being a misfit really sucks sometimes.Author's note: This was originally released as a short story in the Shifting Destiny anthology. It has now been expanded into a full-length novel. Puns still included.Addie's story is book one in the Pack of Misfits series. Every book will be a standalone for that character, but a continuation of the Pack Aberrant story. Book one is a reverse harem with multiple love interests with the main character. However, this is not a reverse harem series. Some main characters in this series will have monogamous relationships.This is intended for ages 18 and older due to sexual content and strong language. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Bridget Bordeaux. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/167158/bk_acx0_167158_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 424min
    The creators of the cult-hit podcast Chapo Trap House deliver a manifesto for everyone who feels orphaned and alienated - politically, culturally, and economically - by the bloodless Wall Street centrism of the Democrats and the lizard-brained atavism of the right: there is a better way, the Chapo Way.In a manifesto that renders all previous attempts at political satire obsolete, The Chapo Guide to Revolution shows you that you don’t have to side with either the pear-shaped vampires of the right or the craven, lanyard-wearing wonks of contemporary liberalism. These self-described “assholes from the Internet” offer a fully ironic ideology for all who feel politically hopeless and prefer broadsides and tirades to reasoned debate.Learn the “secret” history of the world, politics, media, and everything in-between that they don’t want you to know and chart a course from our wretched present to a utopian future where one can post in the morning, game in the afternoon, and podcast after dinner without ever becoming a poster, gamer, or podcaster.The Chapo Guide to Revolution features biographies of important thought leaders and the 10 new laws that govern Chapo Year Zero (everyone gets a dog, billionaires are turned into Soylent, and logic is outlawed). If you’re a fan of sacred cows, prisoners being taken, and holds being barred, then this book is not for you. However, if you feel disenfranchised from the political and cultural nightmare we’re in, then Chapo, let’s go....PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Felix Biederman, Virgil Texas, Brendan James, Will Menaker, Matt Christman. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/sans/008770/bk_sans_008770_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
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    • Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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    Veronica Venom The Imposter (The Demon Afflicted Series) (eBook, ePUB)
    I have demon blood running through my veins.Well, technically it's poison, I guess. And it's not because this is who I am, or supposed to become. It's not some cool legacy handed down to me with an exciting prophecy to look forward to. No, the bitch bit me. She actually bit me. It was right before I killed her, but still. And it was more than two years ago now, so maybe I should have moved on. But I can't. Because of that bite and the demon poison in my blood, my life is totally different. I now have powers. Powers and… something else. Something that hitched itself along for the ride. An unwelcome guest. The kind you can't shake. Not so easy to deal with. I call her Veronica. And she's deadly. She's like if rage and lust had a baby. Like, horny for violence.I might be alive because of her, but she's also the reason I've had to move to the city with a brand-new identity. The reason I can't return to my old life. The life of an Afflicted is a lonely one. But when I learn of a murder-assault downtown, only a few blocks away from my apartment, I have an epiphany. If it happened to me, it could have happened to someone else, right? There could be other Afflicted out there, and a smart way to find them is to track these kinds of attacks. So I do. I start looking into who attacked them and why. Because I have skills that normal people don't. And when I realize the people responsible for this particular incident are probably just your regular variety assholes, I discover another purpose. On my mission to find others like me, I can exact some justice along the way. Don't miss out on this, the first in an exciting new supernatural mystery thriller series.Order Veronica Venom: The Afflicted, today.
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    • Price: 0.99 EUR excl. shipping

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