88 Results for : assholes
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Dirty Chick: Adventures of an Unlikely Farmer , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 440min
One month into our stay, we'd managed to dispatch most of our charges. We executed the chickens. One of the cats disappeared, clearly disgusted with our urban ways. And Lucky [the cow] was escaping almost daily. It seemed we didn't have much of a talent for farming. And we still had eleven months to go. Antonia Murphy, you might say, is an unlikely farmer. Born and bred in San Francisco, she spent much of her life as a liberal urban cliché, and her interactions with the animal kingdom rarely extended past dinner. But then she became a mother. And when her eldest son was born with a rare, mysterious genetic condition, she and her husband, Peter, decided it was time to slow down and find a supportive community. So the Murphys moved to Purua, New Zealand - a rural area where most residents maintained private farms, complete with chickens, goats, and (this being New Zealand) sheep. The result was a comic disaster, and when one day their son had a medical crisis, it was also a little bit terrifying. Dirty Chick chronicles Antonia's first year of life as an artisan farmer. Having bought into the myth that farming is a peaceful, fulfilling endeavor that allows one to commune with nature and live the way humans were meant to live, Antonia soon realized that the reality is far dirtier and way more disgusting than she ever imagined. Among the things she learned the hard way: Cows are prone to a number of serious bowel ailments, goat mating involves an astounding amount of urine, and roosters are complete and unredeemable assholes. But for all its traumas, Antonia quickly embraced farm life, getting drunk on homemade wine (it doesn't cause hangovers!), making cheese (except for the cat hair, it's a tremendously satisfying hobby), and raising a baby lamb (which was addictively cute until it grew into a sheep). ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Antonia Murphy. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/017558/bk_adbl_017558_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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Elements of Desire: Hijinks Harem, Book 3 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 528min, (USK 18)
WARNING: This is the final book in a sexy, steamy, over-the-top paranormal romance, reverse harem series! It includes detailed sex scenes (and lots of them) and terrible plumbing puns and is best enjoyed with a glass of wine and a sense of humor.Seven dysfunctional, supernatural spouses.One jealous, psychotic childhood friend.A match...made in deception?My name is Arizona Smoke, and I’m the fated soul mate to six elemental dragons. Or, at least I thought I was. We even got married - big white dress, custom suits for my beaus, crazy mother-in-law - but now there’s this girl who claims that she is their rightful soul mate.At first, I hated the hunky assholes who’d dropped into my life unannounced, flipped my world upside down, and dragged me into supernatural society kicking and screaming. But now? I’m starting to fall for them, all six of them. I mean, I’d taken the plunge and walked the aisle for these guys, hadn’t I? But this girl - Gemma - she wants my guys to be hers.Fate must hate me, because I’ve got more than just relationship drama to deal with: My biological parents still want me dead, the kidnapped spirit elementals are still missing, and I’m pretty sure my best friend is trying to kill me. As if that wasn’t enough, someone’s raided my inherited wine cellar, and all the booze has gone missing!I'm Ari Smoke, blushing (hah) bride, nymphomaniac, and royally pissed off.Being married to six elemental studs is nice...but wondering if I get to keep them, not so much.Elements of Desire is a full-length comedic paranormal, reverse harem romance. This means our leading lady has six male love interests and doesn't have to choose between them. This book is full of steamy sex, ridiculous plumbing puns, and heaps of action, intrigue, and...well, more puns. This is book 3 of 3 - the final book in the series! ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Bridie Lawrence. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/124290/bk_acx0_124290_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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Devil's Love: Black Angels MC, Book 4 , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 544min, (USK 18)
Luca Sometimes, you just have to take a step back and reflect - at least, that was what Jason always told me.After the past three years, I find his advice more and more relevant.He was the one that convinced me to do what my grandparents wanted and go into the military. My four years in the Navy, sailing huge-ass ships and going to every point of the globe, gave me that new perspective.The world was different, constantly changing, but everything in my hometown stayed the same.My friends were the same - being assholes, mostly, but the same.My home was the same one my grandparents lived in - well, at least until I moved to Las Vegas.But my six years in Vegas is coming to an end, and maybe...I can get back the one thing I hoped hadn’t changed.ClairissaI didn’t spend 15 years pining over Luca.... Hell no.... I definitely didn’t do that.I didn’t spend 1,000 sleepless nights hoping he was safe on a boat in the middle of the ocean.I certainly didn’t wish he’d take me back after dumping me in high school, because that’s pretty sad....Then again, who just ups and runs away to join the military after taking my virginity and giving me a romance I just couldn’t forget?Now, our high school reunion is coming up, and I’m not 15 anymore. I made a promise to myself to get some answers and take my turn to run away.He was my first love, my only love - because he tainted my view of men so beautifully that I couldn’t betray him, even after so long.Author's note: This is the fourth installment to the Black Angels MC and can be enjoyed as a complete stand-alone, but it is recommended to start from book one. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Dwight Kuhlman for HotGhost Productions. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/189487/bk_acx0_189487_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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A Guide for the Heroic Nerd: An Intelligent Way to Pick Up Girls , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 108min
If you want to learn how to become a player, this audiobook isn't for you. To be a true player, you have to treat women like objects; you can't afford to care about their feelings. In other words - you have to be an asshole. There are enough assholes in the world; I don't need to add to their numbers. If you want to learn how to listen to women, how to become more caring and understanding - again - this audiobook isn't for you. I can only teach what I know and I don't know how to listen, care, or be empathetic. A nerd values his intellect over everything else. You can have any other trait, but if your brain is your defining characteristic, you're a nerd. I'll teach you how to use your best trait to pick up real girls in real places. To use my methods, you must become a hero. A hero refuses to live a life of quiet desperation. At the end of his life, a hero regrets the things he's done, not the things he hasn't. He doesn't regret NOT asking a girl out. Most nerds avoid hard work. Smart lazy people use their intellect to avoid stressful situations. They choose the path of least resistance and then wonder why they accomplish nothing. Picking up real girls in real places is a contact sport. There will be pain. There is no easy path forward. If you aren't brave enough to try, you'll never have an opportunity to succeed. If you don't have the fortitude to throw yourself back into the fray after you crash and burn, your journey will be over before it started. If you have what it takes to be a heroic nerd, you might want to listen to this audiobook. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Jack J. Lee. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/012247/bk_acx0_012247_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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Not Quite Beast: Harem/Reverse Harem Urban Fantasy (Not Quite Series, Book 2) , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 244min
At 28 years old, Sam thought they were old enough to stop making terrible decisions. But taking a merc job for a human millionaire can’t be described as anything else. Neither can drinking so much fairy moonshine that you forget there are good reasons not to let yourself think with your...parts.Hunting people is a whole different world than hunting supernatural beasts, and Sam and their guild might not come out on the winning side of this one. When the goons Sam is hired to track down fight back with magic, it rapidly becomes apparent that Theo isn’t telling the whole story about why people want him dead. Sam loses Fin and Emerson, and it takes drastic measures to get them back, including working with a bunch of assholes Sam knows better than to trust.And why the hell do Sam’s most inconvenient shifter impulses choose now to kick in? Sometimes a half-human, half-monster, half-male, half-female fiend hunter just can’t catch a break....Author’s Note:I got sick of reading the same old tropes. In my books, you probably won’t find many alpha males or fainting females, and relationships may have a more poly feel.The Not Quite series is a harem/reverse harem urban fantasy series of novellas (between 35,000-45,000 words) and contains the following:adult language, and lots of itmoderate levels of violence/gore/actiongraphic sexual situationspolyamory/ multiple loversLBGTQ and straight themes (the main character is intersex and will have both male and female lovers, and this is a harem, so expect M/F, M/M, F/F, MMMFF etc.)as usual, my characters all have their own emotional scars. MAY contain mentions of abuse, unpleasant situations, etc. Please do not listen if you are triggered by things like this.occasional “cliff-hangers” or lead-ins to the next book may occur. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Kaye Draper. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/234221/bk_acx0_234221_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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Revenge & Restraints: Helen Discovers BDSM the Hard Way , Hörbuch, Digital, ungekürzt, 139min, (USK 18)
There was no doubt about it Helen Thompson loved her husband deeply. She had from the first moment she had met him nearly 15 years ago. He was a kind and gentle giant of a man, a good man. But oh my was he boring! When Helen was a teenager she was ambitious, rebellious, and headstrong. Exactly all the traits her straight-laced, church-going father hated in a woman. She craved adventure, excitement, and challenge but her parents had other plans for their only daughter. When Raymond Thompson came a-calling with his Please Sir and Thank You Mr. & Mrs. Miller, he was seen as the antidote to their wayward daughter. When Ray dropped to one knee at a family BBQ, Helen said the only thing she could. Slowly she had stopped fighting and fallen into the dutiful wife role complete piles of laundry and a husband whose idea of foreplay was to spit on it before he adopted the missionary position. The man she was married to had no idea of the passionate, lustful woman that lived inside the hollow shell that she had become. All this was about to change when Helen saw a dangerously curious advert on Craigslist that seemed to promise a release from the monotony, the taste of excitement she craved so much. Deciding she had had enough of the tedium at home and the assholes at work, Helen threw caution to the wind and responded to the advertisement, inviting a train crash of submission, bondage, and sexual ecstasy into her life. Helen Thompson found herself in a 24 hour sexual torment that she was not sure she would survive. But the aftershock of her ordeal would end up violently impacting everything in her life. Cumulating in a blisteringly chilling and long overdue act of revenge for long suffering Helen. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Craig Beck. Audio sample: https://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/070829/bk_acx0_070829_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.- Shop: Audible
- Price: 9.95 EUR excl. shipping
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The War Against the Assholes
The War Against the Assholes: ab 3.99 €- Shop: ebook.de
- Price: 3.99 EUR excl. shipping
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Are All Guys Assholes?
Are All Guys Assholes? - More Than 1 000 Guys in 10 Cities Reveal Why They're Not Why They Sometimes Act Like They Are and How Understanding Their Real Feelings Will Solve Your Guy D: ab 8.49 €- Shop: ebook.de
- Price: 8.49 EUR excl. shipping
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The War Against the Assholes
The War Against the Assholes: ab 7.49 €- Shop: ebook.de
- Price: 7.49 EUR excl. shipping